Hello! Hello! Hello!
And we are back with another blog in our Gen Z in the workplace series. This series aims to be a mix of safe space and go-to guide for the workplaces and Gen Z alike to clear the air on the ‘what-to, how-to, when-to’ with respect to professional communication and navigating work culture.
Unless you are Viserys Targaryen, for whom the combination of being the king and not wanting to have any hard conversation works out in his favour, conflicts are unavoidable. Unlike Viserys, you can’t send off people (out of sight out of mind as they say) as envoys or to the night’s watch, relocate them to Dragonstone (here is looking at you Princess Rhaenyra), dismiss and re- appoint them from their positions ( farewell and hello Ser Otto Hightower) , or appoint them to retrain the city guards, away from the city ofcourse ( cheers for a job well done Prince Daemon), so you (and by you I mean all of us) need to learn how to fight in a healthy manner.
Conflicts are unavoidable. No two people are alike, and differences in opinions will crop up every now and then. While the old adage, pick your battles still stands true, here is how you can navigate your way through a conflict, and come out stronger.
First things first, REFRAME the idea that conflicts are bad. Healthy disagreement can be really useful in getting fresh perspectives, learning to compromise, or even finding a solution.While the next few steps may not take away the discomfort you feel while having a disagreement/confrontation/speaking aloud something that is not sitting right with you, it will at least be constructive.
So there you go, a very handy and helpful guide to keep yourself on track while having a disagreement :
When temperatures are running high, it can be easy to get dragged down by the little things (that don’t actually matter), whilst completely ignoring the really BIG thing that this is actually about. Address the elephant in the room by clarifying what’s really at the heart of the debate.
As they say : treat the cause not the symptom.
At the surface the problem is visible in a different form but take a moment to examine if, at the heart of it, it is stemming from not being appreciated/credited, being taken for granted, undercompensated, and overworked etc.
For example, most of the times when people are sticklers for punctuality, it is less about throwing a fuss if someone is late by 5-10 minutes. It is more about their insecurity of not feeling important enough. In their head, if they were important enough for others, others would have made an effort to be on time. Geddit?
So, it helps at times to dig deeper and ask/offer what is really the issue here.
2. “Ok, I understand what you’re saying”
Show the other person that you are hearing their points and you’re acknowledging them. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, or that you’re bowing to their opinion, it simply means you have seriously considered their side of things. In doing so, it’ll add strength to your response.
This is a tricky one, because you don’t want to come across as patronising when you are saying this. You can even take a 2-5 minute break, to reflect upon the new information that is presented to you by the other person,put yourself in their shoes, and say it with utmost sincerity.
The argument has to end. The good news is, you’re in control of resolving it. Lift your head up, and look forward. If both parties start to focus on the outcome then you’ll start to agree on an action plan to move on from where you are, and into a solution or (at the very least) a prevention plan.
In this step, both of you had your say, reflected, and decided on moving forward. You came to a conclusion that there is value in working together/ existing peacefully and there are steps that need to be taken to move forward. This will also be a good time to share what does ‘moving forward’ look like for the both of you.
It really helps to take a cognitive and pragmatic approach. By recognizing the areas of agreement, you don’t just show common ground with the other party, you also work out exactly where the sore spots are. It gives the conversation a more empathetic tone and a practical structure.
In this step, you can make a plan of action together. It might look like sharing options for presentation templates, giving the other person a day to actually consider (and not expecting their response right away) and share their inputs (so that they feel more involved in the project presentation).
Figure out what works the best for you!
I am rooting for you!
P.S The number of conflict that could have be avoided if only the following characters said the following plainly :
Daemon - I feel ignored that you keep sending me away brother Viserys
Rhaenyra - Father Viserys can you please arrange the spectacle of anointing me again as the ruler to secure my position
Alicent - Husband Viserys can there be a decree that somehow ensures that my children are not seen as a threat by Rhaenyra (and hence not killed)
